Each New day

Garden

I can’t have it all 2

I need a man/baby/career/money to be happy and fulfilled.

Is that true?

A father’s role in a woman’s life is important. but because it is overlooked, many men do not take heir rightful place in their daughter’s life. Dad gives a girl a sense of identity, belonging, acceptance and love from a man before they experience a romantic relationship.

My heart was after love--- pure unconditional love but I looked to the wrong sources.  My visions of Prince Charming  was a knight in shining amour. When the line between fantasy and reality became blurred, no one was there to guide me, to show what was right because Dad was gone and mum worked. I was going to find my Mr. Right but it was not to be.

All we need is love …. but for the wrong reasons. Some needs of our hearts are so deep and profound that they can only be filled by God…… John chapter 4. I finally know real love…. the love of God, my Father. When I chose God and being a Christian, my life changed in so many ways…as I found joy and peace. As God will answer our prayers… the prayers of my heart.

Life is filled with countless twists and turns.  We have opportunities everyday to make U turn choices o live godly lives. If you think you need to have a man or a baby or a career or lots of money n your life complete, THINK Again as it will rob you of true love and fulfillment.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in Him… ( 1 John 4:16)

The world wants you to focus on empty relationships and empty promises. You have a choice. Choose to love the Lord your God first, and find your fulfillment in Him.

 

This is the 2 chapter of the book…. ‘ I can’t have it all’

To be continued with chapter 3 soon.

Can We Really Have it All?

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Someone asked me this week if I thought we really can have "it all." My immediate answer was "of course," but after thinking it over, I concluded that it depends on a lot of things. I think three main questions to ask are (1) Do YOU think you can have "it all"?; (2) Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is?; and (3) are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as you life changes?

In my opinion, the answer of whether or not you can have "it all" has to vary from person to person because we are all so different, and everyone has a differing definition of "it all". In fact, I believe that even the same individual’s definition of "it all" varies over their life. Most babies believe they have "it all" when they are in the arms of their mommy enjoying a good meal. That’s all it takes! But, as that baby matures, their definitions become more complex, and finding "it all" becomes increasingly a private matter.

I have learned a lot of important life lessons during my search to have "it all." It began in Junior High School, when to have "it all" meant having my own room, getting HBO, and being on the "A" volleyball team at school. And, yes, I achieved those goals and had "it all." At least for a little while. Because the first lesson I learned about having "it all" is that as soon as you get "it all", you want more!

In High School, I thought I only needed one thing to have "it all." I wanted so badly to be a member of the Madrigal Singers, a prestigious choir sponsored by our school. I finally worked up the nerve to audition, despite the fact that no one had ever told me I had a special singing talent or that my voice was unique. At least, until my audition, when the director of the choir had no problem telling me how LITTLE talent I had! When I didn’t make the choir, I learned that if my definition of having "it all" means having something that isn’t a god-given gift, I will always be defeated. If, however, I choose to pursue goals that fit with the talents I have, the chance to have "it all" is unlimited!

In college, my quest for "it all" became more mercenary: a great job, a car, the grades I needed to be "sellable" after graduation. As I started my career, these goals were only expanded to include more and more "stuff": a house, nicer car, better job ... the list went on and on.

About two years after my husband, Marty and I were married, I thought we were really getting somewhere. We were making more money than we ever had before (and, I might add, spending more money, too). I remember one evening we were on our first real vacation since getting married, and were feeling pretty proud of ourselves. We were dining in a very nice restaurant, enjoying each other’s company, good food and cocktails. We were doing a great job of congratulating ourselves for all we’d achieved. In our minds, that night, we actually had "it all."

Well, God really does have a sense of humor, because two weeks after we returned from vacation "it all" went up in smoke when Marty’s company decided to close his division, and eliminate his job in the process. I quickly learned another lesson: if having "it all" is reliant on circumstances outside our control, we can easily be disappointed.

So began several adventurous years where Marty and I moved across the country, changed careers, and started a family, always in search of a new and improved definition of "it all." In the process, I’ve learned some more important lessons.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that the best "all" I can strive for is in my head. I can’t lie, money, a nice house, clothes, cars and jobs are important to me, but they are easily lost. Tony Robbins has often said that there is nothing in life you can control except the way that you perceive things. And, in order to place a positive perception on any circumstance that comes my way, I’ve learned that I must do three things.

First, I must be at peace with myself, comfortable that I am always doing the very best that I can with the hand life has dealt me.

Second, I must be happy and secure in my relationships with those closest to me, with my husband, son, family and especially with God.

Finally, third, I must be constantly growing and improving, always trying to learn just a little bit more. For me, when I can achieve those three things on a consistent basis, I believe I really will have "it all."

Since every person is different, I can’t tell you what it will take for you to have "it all." But I do know, that if you keep looking for the answers, the lessons you learn during your life will guide you until you, too will find the answer. Always continue to ask. Do YOU think you can have "it all?" Do you have a clear definition of what "it all" is? Are you willing to change your definition of "it all" as your life changes? If so, I’m positive that you will not only achieve "it all," but have a great time in the process – Yes, we CAN have it all!

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